


A Matter Of...

by Nadja_Lee



Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Fluff and Angst, Homophobia, Love, M/M, Romantic Fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2002-01-27
Updated: 2002-01-27
Packaged: 2021-02-27 22:21:09
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 9,023
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22823224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nadja_Lee/pseuds/Nadja_Lee
Summary: Aragorn and Boromir's romance as seen through five key moments in their lives; from the first realisation of love to finding an heir.
Relationships: Aragorn | Estel/Boromir (Son of Denethor II)
Kudos: 277





	1. A matter of the heart

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks to Sorcieré for the Beta.

**Chapter 1: A Matter Of The Heart**

He hates me. No, it's not true. I don't think he ever hated me, not even when we first met in Rivendell. He seemed angry, confused maybe…but I saw no hate in his eyes. His eyes were alight but it wasn't from the fire of hate, it was from the fire of desire. I should know for my eyes reflected the same desire back. He tried to hide his desire in his distance and arrogance as I did in my silence and leadership. Yet, like two pieces of a whole we were still drawn together.

It was so much easier before. Before tonight. I didn't know anything about him and I preferred it like that. My desire was easier fought back when I could tell myself the only beautiful thing about him were his body. Then tonight I saw his soul. Vulnerable, tears in his eyes, he told me all about his fears and doubts and I realized that not only could I understand but I could relate to him.

The question is; what shall I do now? Since we started out from Rivendell I have feared he might try and take the Ring. Before tonight the thought gave me the strength to fight my desire with hate and despise for a man who was too weak to resist the Ring. But tonight I've heard his reasons, I've seen his soul and against my will I find his reasons understandable and his soul…his soul tempts me, teases me, and threatens to draw me into his embrace.

When I saw him earlier, looking so lost, sad, and broken I wanted nothing more than to take him in my arms and hold him tight but I know I must not. I cannot. I have a decision to make tonight. Is he my enemy, my friend…. or can he be my lover? My head warns me that he will be an enemy, my honor bids me to accept him as a friend, and my heart…my heart wants him by my side forever.

What shall I do? A soldier would kill the enemy, a good King would never judge only on 'maybes', and a lover…would never harm his beloved. I'm so confused. If only something could be easy for once. Suddenly I wish I wasn't Isildur's heir and he the son of the Steward of Gondor. I wish we were nothing but common men for then the love I feel for him and that I see returned in his eyes…that love could actually be.

I look over and see Boromir lying a little away from me, asleep as are all the others. He looks so peaceful in sleep; his fair hair falls over his face and for once his face doesn't speak of burdens heavier than the stones that lie around me. He looks so young in sleep, so valuable.

I can't keep a smile from spreading over my lips. How could I ever dream of harming this man? The answer is simple; I can't. What I admit now to myself goes against all I have learned and all I was taught to believe in but it's true none the less…I'd rather see all of Middle Earth fall into Shadows than see him harmed in any way. If that makes me a bad King and an even worse soldier, then so be it for I can't go against my heart.

I stand up and with the experience my years with the Elves have given me I walk silently to his side and kneels down. Ever so softly I let a hand rest on his head. His hair feels softer than grass in spring. I bend down and kiss his forehead as lightly as butterfly wings. A small smile spreads over his lips as if he has sensed me, but he doesn't open his eyes.

"Rest easy, Boromir, Lord Of Gondor. I shall watch over you and I swear for as long as I live, no harm shall ever come to you," I whisper softly and with my life or death I'll keep this vow, as I'll honor my vow to Frodo.

Having found some sense of peace with my decision and my admission of the feelings I've bore inside since we left Rivendell, I walk a few paces away from him and fetches my blanket to lie close by his side.

Later that night I awake by a strong light that quickly fades. Where it come from is impossible to say. I turn to look if Boromir is safe and see that sometime during the night his right hand has moved to hold mine. I look at our hands and with a smile on my lips and in my heart I close my hand over his and hold on tight, vowing never to let go again.


	2. A Matter Of Acceptance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aragorn talks with Boromir about his feelings.

**Chapter 2: A Matter Of Acceptance**

The boats are being prepared; the others are still saying their farewells to Lothlorien and its inhabitants, leaving Boromir and me alone on the shore. The journey we are to travel will be a hard one; I have only this chance to say what is in my heart. My eyes catch Boromir's and for once I don't see the sadness or the despair that have been in his eyes since we left Rivendell. I see a fire in his eyes, the reflection of my own.

"Boromir, I need to speak with you. Walk with me," I asked and began walking so we'd be out of hearing range. I turned around and saw him debate briefly with himself about whether he should follow me or not. My heart began to beat wildly in my chest at his insecurity. What if I had been wrong? What if he didn't want me? Then, after what seemed like hours, he walked to me. Barely able to contain my relief, we walked along the shore in silence.

"What did you wish to discuss?" Boromir asked as we rounded a corner, so we could be sure that we would not be seen or heard by the others.

"The future," I admitted and damned my nervousness. Either he felt the same or he didn't. This was not a battle I could win or lose; things were the way they were.

"Gondor's future?" he asked, a hint of something in his voice I couldn't quite figure out.

"No. Yours and mine," I said as I turned from my observation of the lake to face him. His surprise was evident but I couldn't tell if it was a good thing or not.

"What do you mean?" he asked and I could detect a hint of suspicion in his words. The moment of truth, all may rise or fall on a single word.

"I think you know but I will tell you. Since we met, since we departed Rivendell…" I wasn't sure how to say it and my eyes fell to the ground. How to find words for the depth of a feeling I couldn't even put words on in my mind?

"Yes?" Boromir pressed and I'm sure I heard mild amusement in his voice. I lifted my head to look into his eyes and saw the same flame of amusement dance there. I couldn't keep from smiling.

"You are not going to make this easy for me, are you?" I asked, laughter in my voice.

"No, I wasn't planning on it," he replied, a gleam in his eye.

"Then I will say it as it is. Boromir, Lord of Gondor…I love you."

There, it was said, it was out. I half expected him to laugh at me but the look of joy quickly followed by pain I saw in his eyes, was something I wasn't prepared for.

"No. You cannot love me," he denied and turned his back at me, facing the lake.

"Why not? I cannot control what I feel," I laid my hands on his shoulders but he shielded away from me and I withdrew my hands. What was he doing? I had seen the joy in his eyes, it was there.

"Then I must control it for both of us," he whispered pained, still not facing me.

"Why?" I asked puzzled.

"What of Arwen? Is she not your betrothed? Do you not love her?" he asked softly.

Was this why he shielded way form me? To protect Arwen's honor?

"I do love her," I saw how he stiffened by my words and I smiled. He did care. "I'll always love her but not like you think. She's a friend, a sister, a confident and yes, once she was more but not anymore. Not anymore," again I tried to reach for him but he stepped to the side and my arms fell away empty.

"She won't understand."

Did he love Arwen? The thought suddenly seemed very real…. or was he stalling, finding excuses?

"She will. She's an Elf. When our journey is over I'll speak with her, I'll explain. I'll give her back her necklace, her immortality and her vow," I explained. I'll always carry her with me in my heart but though men live so much shorter a time than Elves, even they can love more than one person in their life. Finally he turned around and I saw tears in his eyes. Happy tears, I hoped.

"You would do this…for me?" he asked softly. I smiled warmly.

"I'll do anything for you," I vowed. My words seemed to scare him for he turned away from me again. No matter what I said it seemed to be the wrong thing.

"Don't say that," he whispered.

"Why not? It is the truth, after all," I asked puzzled. "Why do you fear me?"

"I don't fear you. I fear no one," he denied.

"Then face me and explain to me why you turn away for I'm all at sea," I asked, knowing he never could say no to a challenge and as I knew he would, he turned around and faced me.

"What is wrong?" I repeated, more gently this time. His eyes fell to the ground and a becoming blush colored his cheeks. I've never seen him blush before. Whatever he was to say must be quite embarrassing.

"I love you," he whispered softly and I smiled happily though my smile soon froze.

"Why so sad about that? I said that I love you too and I mean what I say," I asked puzzled.

Why would his feelings for me bring him such embarrassment? His eyes were still lowered, not meeting mine. This was so unlike him. Then he lifted his head and looked at me and I saw such raw emotion in his face it almost made me cry.

"Have you lived so long among Elves that you have forgotten the customs…. and taboos of our people?" he asked pained.

Our people he had said…. wait a minute…taboos?

"What do you mean?"

"This. Us," with his hand he indicated him and me. I frowned. What was so wrong with…Suddenly I understood.

"You mean because we're both men. Our love will not be understood in Gondor," I finally realized.

I had been away for too long for me to forget this. It was unheard of, uncommon and forbidden. Among Elves it was common over the centuries to take a partner of the same sex, they did not have the taboos of men and didn't understand them.

"Yes," Boromir nodded, making a movement with his hands to say there was nothing to do.

"I shall revoke the law when I'm King," I said simply though I knew it'll be harder than that.

I may be able to force our relationship to be legal but I couldn't force people to understand and accept it. I looked at Boromir. Maybe he was right; maybe we shouldn't even try this. Maybe we should walk away while we still could for I knew when first I've held him in my arms, I wouldn't ever let him leave. As King, as Isildur's heir, my 'mistake' would be overlooked but Boromir would be a man out of place, no one knowing what to call him, where to put him…he'll have it hardest. And all this was assuming we won this battle we had still to fight.

"It's that easy?" Boromir asked, laughter in his voice. That smile of his…it was going to be my doom.

"It can be. Boromir, I stand by my word. I love you and if we want to we can make this work. Answer me now and tell me clearly, for I ask for life; will you trust me with your body, soul, and heart, as I'll let you guard mine?" I asked softly and held my breath for his answer could break or heal my heart.

He looked at me, his conflicting emotions; love, honor, duty, and need all mixed into one made his eyes look like a storm were underway. The seconds seemed to go by so slowly that I was beginning to fear someone had turned off time to make me suffer until, finally, he moved. I reached out a hand for him and I smiled as he took it in his. He kneeled before me as a knight before his King, his eyes looking up and straight through me as he lifted my hand and kissed it.

"I love you, my King. I'll be with you for as long as you wish," he promised and I knew what hard battle his heart had had to fight against upbringing and religion until these words could come. I knelled down and took both his hands in mine.

"I wish forever," I whispered softly and kissed his brow. "You're all I ever wanted."

"As you are to me. I see your light now, your reason. The Ring has no power over me for I see it brings nothing but false hope. You, my King, bring true hope to me…and to Gondor," Boromir said and I saw love in his eyes but more importantly; I saw peace. Peace of mind and peace of soul. I smiled and let him draw me into a kiss. The quest was forgotten for a while as Boromir let himself fall back into the sand, taking me with him. Never have I felt such joy and happiness as I felt when he put his arms around me and let me hold him close. No barriers, no secrets…. no pride. Just the two of us. Just love...just freedom.


	3. A Matter Of Tolerance

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Boromir talks with Legolas about his feelings for Aragorn and how society looks upon their relationship.

**Chapter 3: A Matter Of Tolerance**

It's strange. I grew up in these halls yet today I feel like a stranger, an outsider. I correct an imaginary fold in my tunic and take a deep breath. I hate parties like these. They were bad enough before the war of the Ring, before…I cast Aragorn a stolen glance and smile. He looks stunning in his blue tunic, his brown hair neatly combed and his crown in place on his head as it should be. No, no matter what, I can't - and won't - ever regret admitting my feelings for him. For had I not, I would not today rule Gondor by his side, and I would not be able to fall into a peaceful sleep in his arms in the King's chambers.

"You look troubled," Aragorn comments softly and walks to me, putting his hands on my shoulders. I force a smile.

"Not at all. I fear no one," the latter is said with a small smile and a gleam in my eyes, for over the years I've learn that although pride can save you, it can also bring you to downfall. He smiles back and kisses my forehead.

"I know you do not, although some of our guests speak with two tongues and both should be ignored," he says and I understand both his obvious and hidden meaning.

"As you wish. Shall we go?" I ask and indicate the door with a wave of my hands.

"We shall."

His right hand rests on his sword handle as mine rests on my sword as we walk down the hall, quickly followed by an army of servants and aids. We reach the door to the main dinner hall where the party is held. The doors open and everyone in the room turns to look. Aragorn chooses not to see it, but in our nobles eyes I can see their distaste for me, for what I am and what I represent. I hold my head up high and stare back until they look away.

"His Royal Highness, King Aragorn of Gondor," the servant introduces and the men bows and the women curtsies. "His Grace, Boromir, the Lord Of Gondor, commander of the Royal army," he introduces, and again there is bowing and curtsies, though not as low as to Aragorn.

"I need to speak with some people over there. Go mingle?" Aragorn says, as he's to leave my side. I can see the worry in his dark eyes.

"Relax, Aragorn. Most of them may dislike me but none would dare to harm me," I reassure him and to prove I'm not frightened I lean in and kisses him on the mouth. He draws his arms around me and deepens the kiss before he reluctantly draws back. He smile at me before he walks across the room to some noblemen, waiting for a conversation with their King about a matter of state. I look after him for a short while before I turn around and walk the other way. People are polite enough, they nod as I approach but in their eyes, the men's eyes, I see dislike on the borderline to hate. The women are normally kind enough and have nothing against me. All things fair I know that it isn't me personally our nobles dislike, it is what I am to our King. That I'm his partner and his lover. Aragorn may have revoked the law but the old ways die hard. After some polite conversation with some of the women I look around to see if some of the Elves have arrived. The official reason to hold this feast in the White City is to celebrate Sauron's downfall three years ago and the triumph of the fellowship though the real reason is to create contacts to other races and nations, make agreements on war, peace, trade, taxes and so on.

"Do you seek someone, Boromir?" a familiar voice asks teasingly from behind me and I smile as I turn around.

"Legolas! It is good to see you again," I say warmly and shake his hand. Only an Elf could come so close to me without my hearing him.

"It is good to see you and Aragorn again, too," Legolas says and his quick eye instantly finds Aragorn in the mist of all the people and gives a polite nod of his head in his direction.

"How is your father? Your Kingdom?" I ask as we walk towards the table with food placed in the middle of the room.

"My father is well, thank you. My kingdom fares well now after the Evil has been driven away," Legolas says as he takes some food and I do likewise.

"That is good to hear," I say as we walk to sit by a table.

"You sound troubled. Do Gondor not fare well?" Legolas asks concerned.

"The Kingdom fares well," I say softly, my eyes clouded.

"But you do not?"

"I'm happy, Legolas. For the first time I'm truly happy. Aragorn brings me more joy and pleasure for each day which passes," I say warmly, knowing my eyes must be showing my affections but I don't care.

"Others are not happy for you I take it?" Legolas asks insightfully.

"How did you know? It is not something which is talked about," I ask puzzled.

" I have eyes and ears. Your nobles, they respect your skills as a warrior but they can't and won't accept you as Aragorn's partner," Legolas says things as he sees them, and as they are.

"If that is so, then they're fools," a female voice says from behind me.

"Princess Arwen. Elves seem to have a habit of sneaking up on me today," I say with a smile and stand up and take a chair to our table for her to sit down. Legolas and I remain standing until she is seated before we sit down again. She smiles at me and puts a delicate, pale hand over my much darker colored hand.

"Boromir, there is no hostility between you and I. I've lived for many hundreds years and I know love when I see it. Aragorn's happiness is what matters to me and in your eyes I see that he has found it," she reassures me, as she must have sensed my nervousness. I smile warmly.

"Thank you, My Lady," I say and lift her hand to my lips and kiss it.

"I do not understand these humans sometimes. Why won't they be happy for their King?" Legolas asks and sounds truly puzzled.

"It's more difficult than that, Legolas. They think that…they just find it wrong," I try to explain but find I really don't have any excuses for them.  
"Why?" Arwen asks, sounding just as puzzled.

"Our religion and our upbringing says that we must marry a human of the opposite sex," I explain.

"So an Elf marring a human would be just as bad?" Arwen says, thinking about what would have happened if she had married Aragorn.

"No. Elves are highly respected for their skills and powers. You would have been loved by all," I say with a smile and try to keep the hint of jealousy from my voice.

"How can humans judge others like that? What do they base their judgement on? Upbringing? It is naught but a view of life that can change. A religion? A religion which outlaws love in any form is not worth worshipping," Legolas says and I smile. Whatever Gods there be, let them bless the Elves for they are truly the wisest and fairest of all creatures.

"All Elves I know, myself included, have had a partner of the same sex at least once in their long life. How can humans respect and admire our way of life yet ignores this fact?" Arwen asks, frowning.

"People see what they want to see. For many people, the truth is whatever they believe in, nothing else," I say, knowing I must sound very pessimistic.

"That is no truth at all," Legolas says in a hard voice.

"No, but reality and ideals mix very badly where humans are concerned," I say softly and remember my own desire to take the One Ring from Frodo. But that was before Aragorn spoke with me, before I found hope in our love. After that, the Ring held no power over me.

"One day humans will respect and understand all kinds of love and see that love is the greatest power of all," Arwen says warmly and I smile. I know why Aragorn care for her, for she is truly a light in darkness.

"I appreciate your faith in my race though I have my doubts," I admit. I see Aragorn walk towards our table and I wave him over to us. As he stops by our table we all stand up.

"Legolas. So good to see you," Aragorn says warmly and the two men shake hands.

"Likewise, my friend," Legolas says as they draw apart.

"And Arwen…you look stunning," he says and kisses her cheek. He is right, she is stunning; all dressed in white, the Evenstar around her neck shinning like a jewel…It is hard not to be jealous when I know of the feelings he once bore for her, and I know that he still loves her, in one way or another.

"Thank you. It is good to see you again," she says warmly as she draws back. For a moment a strange silence falls over us, the only sound the music being playing.

"Arwen, may I ask for this dance?" Legolas asks as she stands up, stretching his hand out towards her.

"It'll be my pleasure," she says and smiles, as she's lead to the dance floor. Aragorn sits on the chair next to me that Arwen has just left. I smile as I see Legolas and Arwen dance together. They look beautiful together, the same grace and air of royalty around them.

"Thinking about playing matchmaker?" Aragorn teases me and I laugh.

"Not in this lifetime."

"You do know that it's over between Arwen and me, do you not? It's you I love now. Forever," he says softly. Sometimes I swear that man can read minds or else it must be his upbringing with the Elves.

"I know," I say and smile, happy to be assured in my love.

"I love you," he says as he moves in for a kiss.

"Love you too," I whisper back as our breath mix and his lips catches mine.


	4. A Matter Of Control

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Aragorn may be able to make his relationship with Boromir legal in Gondor but how does the real world face up to Aragorn's dreams and ideals, especially for Boromir?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dedicated to Cat who requested this story. Hope it was what you had in mind. Enjoy, lov.

**Chapter 4: A Matter Of Control**

It's the small things. It's the looks I'm getting, the whispers behind my back, it's the raised eyebrows and the turned backs. Those things are the worst. Anyone who actually has the nerve to call me anything to my face...them I can handle. It's my right as well as my duty to challenge anyone who questions my honour to a duel. But I can't challenge the entire court. I can't fight what I can't see.

When Aragorn revoked the law, making it legal for us to be together, he thought that all troubles were over, but I knew better. I knew that the day in Lothlorien when he had asked for my heart he had also asked for my life, my honour, and my future. And I had given him all that. Far away, still in war with the possibility of dying so near it was easier to follow my heart. I knew that troubles would await me should we both make it back to Gondor but I didn't think we would. But we did.

I was raised to believe my feelings for Aragorn were wrong, I was raised to believe it was the work of demons. Something not spoken of, something unseen, unheard…something shameful. As a young man I even convicted two men who had been living together in secret to 20 lashes each for such…..ungodly behaviour. I had been proud of my action and so had my father...my father, the church and the court. They had all said I had made the right decision. Then I had pretended not to see the love in the looks between the two of them, I had pretended I didn't care when the strongest of them in vain tried to plea and fight for his lover; he even offered to take double punishment if I would let his lover go. I had turned my heart to ice, my mind to stone, and believed blindly in rules and regulations; not thinking one single thought for myself.

Many things in me fought my attraction to Aragorn for so long until I gave in and let my feelings run free, but always with the thought in the back of my mind that no one would know save the Fellowship and they would never tell because it's accepted among both Hobbits and Elves to have a partner of the same sex and Dwarfs simply don't care.

Then the day came when we completed our quest; amazingly all alive and well. I was filled with happiness and fear all at the same time. Aragorn has never had the fear, the doubts, nor the agony and pain over our relationship as I have. He was raised among Elves with their religion, their view on life, on love, and what's right and wrong. I was raised by human standards and I was haunted by human fears. Though I knew even then that I loved Aragorn; he was the first person I had ever really loved, it still didn't stop my thoughts from wandering far and wide. By night my dreams were tormented by nightmares and at day I thought far too much over everything and nothing in between. I thought of religion though I had never been much of a religious person. I wondered if it was true that my soul would be damned for all time because of my love for another man. I thought if it was true I was a demon for possessing such feelings towards Aragorn. I wondered if my love for Aragorn would mean I had brought shame upon my family and name. My thoughts were spinning out of control and I felt like I was drowning. Only safe in Aragorn's arms could I for a moment find peace from all the voices in my head.

After the War Of The Ring ended as we threw the Ring into Mt. Doom together, the Fellowship parted with the promise to all meet at least once a year for we had all come to love each other like only brothers in arms can. The little ones went back to the Shire, Gimli went with Legolas to Mirkwood to see his Kingdom and Aragorn and I headed for Gondor. As we neared the city I grew more and more nervous. Aragorn sensed that and as we entered the White City he didn't hold my hand, and when he met my brother and father he remained silent of our relationship. And I was glad. But the moment I realised that I was happy for him hiding our love I got angry with myself. Was I seeking to live a lie? Was that who I was? No, it wasn't and never would be. The truth would be painful but there was no way around it. Either we stayed together as a couple, like the lovers we were or we parted ways. Aragorn once again sensed my troubles and gave me room and time to think. It wasn't that I loved him any less but the past never quite lets go and it's hard to go against everything you were raised to believe in…it's hard to admit that for years you have lived a lie; believed in a lie.

My answer was the same as the one I had given him in Lothlorien. It would be a lot harder now but I knew that Aragorn would always be my one and only love. If I denied him I would deny a piece of myself. I might be able to live up to others standards but could I ever live up to my own if I had cowardly run away from the one person I truly loved and who unconditionally loved me back? No, I couldn't and that I told him. He warned me that it would be hard but I just smiled at him and made light of it; claiming I could take it all though inside I was more nervous than ever.

My father's reaction was disastrous, ending in a huge fight where he claimed he now had only one son. My mother was supportive as soon as my father had left; she never dared to argue with my father openly. My brother, my little baby brother, had always looked up to me and sought my protection. I feared his rejection more than anything. I don't know what I would have done had he turned on me. To my happiness he didn't turn away from me. He turned out to be one of my greatest supporters and it's strange how these days he has become the protector. We told the public and though there as expected was some against it, the general reaction was one of 'I didn't hear that. We don't talk about it, we don't see it'. In the public I was already well known for my skills as a warrior and leader and that I think saved me from their judgement. They weren't with me in this matter but they didn't go against me either.

The nobles and the church on the other hand….the former hated it because they had looked forth to a stronger alliance between the Royal House of Fingolfin that Arwen would bring as Aragorn's wife and then because they have always been too wrapped up in their own affairs to notice much of anything. Too many Nobles do next to nothing of importance and have far too much time on their hands to make the smallest thing into a scandal or never get over small hurts and this was a scandal they could work on forever. The church was against it on general principle. Recently I sat next to one of the ruling priests at a banquet and asked him why because his contempt for me was as clear as if he had written a sign. He said it stood in our Holy Book and so forth. Tired of hearing that old line of argument I took him to the Royal Library after dinner, put our Holy Book in his hands and asked him to show me where it stood that it was a sin for two men - or two women - to love each other. He had looked confused at me and then begun to fanatically search in the book. He searched all evening but never found anything. As it was time for him to leave, I asked him why he thought he didn't find anything. There was murder in his eyes as he told me through clenched teeth that it was common knowledge that living like I did was a sin; he didn't need a book for that. I smiled dangerously at him and asked him which God had died to make room for him since he apparently found himself worthy to pass judgement in the name of our Gods. He hadn't answered that but merely left though I have a feeling my discussion with him didn't improve on the church's opinion of me.

Lately I've become better at seeing the humour in such situations because I have found I have to. If I let their scorn get to me I would die. In the beginning I was plagued by self-doubt and fears. Not just for myself but for Aragorn also. What would history say of him? How would it remember him? He's a great King and I want history to remember him for that and not for our relationship just like I want to be remembered for my deeds and not like…..well, like an abnormality; something strange, forbidden, and shameful.

In the evening Aragorn always asks me how my day has been and he'll tell of his. His voice is always so enthusiastic when he tells of all his new laws and all the changes he has made. He seems so happy like he was born to do this and I know he was. But that often leaves me wondering…..what was I born to do? I thought it was to rule Gondor but it's not. But what is it then? Is it to love Aragorn…..or is it something else? For a long time I wondered about this until I found I spent too much time wondering and way too little appreciating what I've got. Actually it was Arwen who opened my eyes to that when she visited the White City not long after the War ended. When she came my fears turned from myself and the view the world had on me and my relationship to Aragorn…as I realised I could lose him. I could lose the man I love. I had never seen Lord Elrond's daughter before but when I did I understood why Aragorn talked of her with such warmth. She was breathtaking but her beauty wasn't only skin-deep. Her beauty shinned from her heart. She was like a diamond shinning so brightly or the amazingly sun itself. She was always smiling and always kind. She accepted her necklace and vow back with a smile and said she had known something like this would happen. She then spoke to me, her voice so soft as a lover's caress. She told me I was lucky to have Aragorn in my life and she hoped I knew that. I nodded and said I did because in that moment I truly understood what she meant. I'm happy that today I can call her friend and know that I helped her find happiness again with Legolas as they are both very dear to me; almost as much as they are to Aragorn.

Since that day I've never doubted that my decision to stay with Aragorn is the right one. I can remember with a bittersweet taste in my mouth the carefreeness of my childhood but that's long gone. I'm no longer a child and I can't have the freedom I had then. The responses I get from some people are my burden to carry alone and I don't trouble Aragorn with it. He can't do anything about it anyway. He's rebuilding a country and it means walking carefully. To tell him which persons have hurt me will only trouble him and pain him when he realises he can't punish them for it like I know he wants to.

My greatest pain I can't and won't tell him. As a child I played with a boy who should grew up to be Lord Kalimal. We did everything together and my happiest memories are of him or with my brother. We were inseparable. We mixed blood and claimed to be blood brothers; that nothing could separate us. I'll never forget the look in his eyes when I told him of Aragorn and me. It was a look of pure shock, hate and contempt. He banished me from his home and from his heart. He denied our friendship and the love that existed between us. For a while I tried to reach him but then gave up. The love I once bore for him turned into hate. Why couldn't he understand? Why?

I realised that he couldn't understand because the man who had come to Lord Elrond's council wouldn't have understood either. We were the same as children, we had the same ideas and code of what was right and wrong. Only love could open my eyes to the poison and lies I had been filled with all through my childhood but how could I explain to him the purity of my feelings when he was sure they were wrong? When he wouldn't even listen? My greatest regret today is the way I behaved as a young man. That I never questioned what I was told, that I believed so blindly, that I could hate so blindly. The image of the two men I convicted haunts me still and today more than ever; now that I know I was wrong, now that I've felt the love they must have felt.

Through all what I've had to endure, no matter how hard it has been I haven't regretted a day. I'm loved and I give love in return. What can be greater? What can be purer? Today no one can convince me that any love when freely given and received is wrong.

It's a matter of control and I've finally taken control over my own destiny and my own future. I know what I have and what I have is what I want. It's that simple.


	5. A Matter Of Succession

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The Kingdom of Gondor needs an heir. Who shall Aragorn choose?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Jillian Burke for great beta.

**Chapter 5: A Matter Of Succession**

"I've been here often yet I'm always stunned by the beauty of this place," I say as I walk through one of my palace's many gardens. It is a beautiful spring day, the sun is shining, birds are singing and the smell of fresh flowers and grass reaches my nose.

"I came here often as a child," Boromir says and as we walk on he reaches down and picks a small white flower. He smells it before he turns to me and with laughter in his eyes places it in the hair band I wear so not to have my long hair fall into my eyes. I allow the flower to stay where he has placed it and with a smile I draw him into a quick kiss.

"I shall give you flowers more often if I'm thanked like that every time," Boromir teases. I laugh as we walk on. We reach a stone bench and I sit down. Boromir sits beside me.

"This is life," I say happily as I leads back and lifts my head to the heavens and enjoys the warm sunlight on my face. The sounds of spring, the birds and insects, make me feel dozy.

"Come," Boromir asks and pulls my hand. I let him pull me up and allow myself to be dragged to the grass nearby which is surrounded by flowerbeds. He sits down on the warm grass and pulls me down with him. With a gleam in his eyes Boromir leans back, placing his head in my lap and closes his eyes, letting the sun warm his face.

"Now, this is life," he says and I smile. He's right; this is perfect. It's not often we have a whole day to ourselves. Matters of state must come first and in the beginning we barely saw each other during the day. Now, five years since we first met and four years since the war ended, things have calmed down somewhat. Most of the rearrangements I wanted to make regarding the law, our politics and crime and punishment, I have already made. The trouble now is making people follow it. In the beginning I sensed a great reluctance against me from the nobles and it didn't help that I reduced their power and gave more power to the state and to me. For example the nobles used to be able to punish their own people for crimes and not let their verdict go through the state. As this practise resulted in many unfair convictions I revoked that law and said all trials are to go through one central justice system.

The first law I revoked was the law forbidding Boromir and me to be together. Over the years the nobles have turned their distaste for me into distaste for Boromir. He's an easy target for them because they'll be able to draw on support from the church though I know they'll find no support from the common people. Boromir is well loved by the people for his bravado in battle, his love for his country and his concern for the common man and woman. Unlike most nobles, Boromir talks with the servants. When I was looking for him the other day I found him in the kitchen talking with the women there about their children, the coming harvest and that the palace had way too many stairs.

When I first met him I thought him too proud to do any of that. But I quickly found that his pride wasn't in himself or him being a nobleman. His pride was in his country, the common men and women who lived, worked and died there.

Boromir always says that I'm a loner and he's right. That's what makes us so perfect together in every way. He's my connection to the people, he sees and hears everything. The nobles may dislike him but the people adore him and well they should for he cares for them; their troubles are his. It is through him that I hear what the common man thinks of my decisions and rule. It is through him I learn all what the nobles do not wish me to know.

"Your Highness. Your Highness," I hear one of my aids call for me. I look toward him as he approaches and he stops at a respectful distance from where Boromir and I sit. Boromir still has his head in my lap, his eyes closed and he looks like he's sleeping but I can see the corners of his mouth turn up in a smile. He has had to endure much because he's my partner and lover but he has also found a sense of humour in it all for he, like I, finds their intolerance of our relationship annoying and stupid. At first the nobles' distaste made him depressed and sad but quickly he began to enjoy baiting them, teasing them. To survive all the feasts and banquets I unfortunately have to hold for them, I think that humour is the only way to look at things and look upon them.

"This better be important, aid. I said I didn't want to be disturbed," my tone has just enough of steel in it to make the young man seem nervous. Boromir smiles at me though he still enjoys the warm sunlight and his eyes remain closed.

"Lord Kalimal is here, Your Highness. It is about the matter of succession," the aid says, his voice sounding insecure and his eyes are lowered to the ground.

"Not again," Boromir growls and reluctantly opens his eyes and looks at me. Lord Kalimal is one of the biggest advisories we have at court. He believes himself to be a very righteous and Godly man and is therefore against my relationship with Boromir. Every time we see him he'll ask me how Arwen is, and when I'll marry and have children, reminding me the kingdom needs an heir. His rudeness towards Boromir has several times almost made me sign his death warrant but unfortunately I can't. He hasn't done anything illegal and if I want to rule fairly I can't remove, ban or kill people who don't like my choices or me. Though at moments like these I'm tempted to rethink that philosophy.

"We have to see him," I reluctantly say to Boromir and bend down and kiss him on the lips.

"Can't we say we aren't here?" Boromir complains as he stands up and offers me a hand up. I smile at him as I let him help me to my feet.

"I'm afraid not," I say and caress his cheek. I know this must be hard for him, he's a proud man and if I wish to kill Kalimal every time he insults Boromir with his hidden meanings and words, I know Boromir wants it several times more.

"This way if you please, Your Highness, my Lord," the aid says and with Boromir by my side we walk towards one of the big halls. The doors to the Red Room, one of the rooms used for receiving guests are opened for us and the aid introduces us;  
"His Royal Highness, Aragorn, King of Gondor and Boromir, Lord Of Gondor, Captain-General of the Royal army. Lord Kalimal."

Kalimal bows for us and I give as small a nod of my head as possible. Boromir refuses to acknowledge his bow at all.

"Your Highness," Lord Kalimal says, his voice like a snake's and his eyes likewise.

"What brings you here, Lord Kalimal? I have important business to attend to," I say as I go and sit behind my desk, Boromir stands behind me with one hand resting on my stool. Lord Kalimal remains standing, as I haven't given him permission to sit.

"I'm here regarding the matter of succession," Lord Kalimal says and completely ignores the fact that Boromir is even in the room.

"As I've said before I'll tend to this matter when I see fit. Is that all?" my voice is hard and dismissive.

"I've allowed myself to look into the matter and according to the old law, the King shall name his successor within a year after his coronation and as Your Highness knows it has been four years now," Kalimal says, a hint of triumph in his voice.

"That law holds no power anymore. It was made because in the old days war was common and if the King didn't fall in battle, the nobles weren't late to try and make up for that to gain personal power and influence," Boromir says, his voice hard and his right hand rests on his sword handle, itching to use it.

"I know of this law you speak and it is hardly a law but more a tradition. I'm under no obligation to name a successor within a given time just as long as it's done before my death and I don't intend to die for many years yet," I say coldly. Kalimal's attempts are getting more and more annoying each day.

"Then I'm sure Your Highness knows that your heir must have your blood in his veins," Kalimal says smoothly. My eyes shoot daggers at him. The nerve of that man!

"I'm aware of this. You'll take your leave. NOW," I order harshly and wave him dismissively away. With a bow and a smile of triumph he leaves.

"One of these days…." Boromir says hatefully.

"I know but unfortunately he has a point. I should name my successor," I lean back in my chair and sigh deeply.

"Is it true your successor must have your blood in his veins?" Boromir asks softly and I can hear his doubt and fear of losing me in his voice.

"Yes, I'm afraid so," I admit as I take his left hand and kiss it in an attempt to reassure him all will be right.

"What will you do?" he asks softly.

"I'm not sure but we'll do it together," I say and draw him down and into a kiss.

"What have you found out?" I ask Boromir when we later that day sit in the library, tons of books spread out before us. Boromir slams his book shut in despair.

"Nothing! That coward is right. It seems a Royal heir has to have Royal blood in his veins," Boromir says frustrated. I shake my head. There has got to be a way out. There has to be. I can't lose Boromir now. Not after all we have been through. Not after only four years together. Think, I just have to think….

"Wait a minute. Did you say that my heir had to have Royal blood in his veins?" I ask, a plan forming in my mind.

"Yes," Boromir confirms, looking puzzled at the smile that spreads over my lips.

"That's the exact words?"

"Yes. 'A Royal heir to the throne of Gondor has to have Royal blood in his veins to rule the land'," Boromir reads from the book.

"Then it doesn't say what line of royalty, now does it?" I ask with a smile. Boromir smiles widely.

"No, it doesn't," he confirms, knowing where I'm going.

"Which royal houses do we know that we can trust to take over Gondor after my death?" I ask, a gleam in my eye.

"I shall send for Legolas," Boromir says and stands to go to the door to do just that.

"Wait a moment," I ask and he stops.

"What is it? We both trust Legolas and he's an Elf. The people and the nobles will like him. He'll be perfect to lead Gondor," Boromir says and I can hear the eagerness in his voice to get this matter settled for if we can't find an heir to Gondor….

"Legolas is heir to Mirkwood. He already has a Kingdom to inherit. He cannot rule two Kingdoms unless Gondor and Mirkwood are ruled as one and we want Gondor to keep its independence," I say, thinking about our options.

"What about Arwen?" Boromir thinks out loud, slowly going back towards me. "She is of The Royal House of Fingolfin."

"Women can't inherit Kingdoms," I dismiss the idea, leaving no room for argument. Boromir and I have spoken of this matter several times. He thinks it unfair that women can't inherit Kingdoms. As he sees it a woman can be just as great a warrior and statesman as a man; sometimes maybe even better. I'm not saying I can't see his reasons but it is a thought I can't agree on.

"No, not her. One of her sons," Boromir says. I look puzzled at him. Sure, I know she and Legolas are good friends now and I have my suspicions that they may be more but…

"Arwen sent a message for us today. In the confusion I forgot to mention it, I am sorry," Boromir says apologetically.

"Nothing to forgive, Meleth nin [Elvish for 'Beloved']," I say softly and give him a quick kiss, happy for Arwen and Legolas. I love them both deeply and I can imagine no better wife for Legolas than her and no better husband for her than him.

" She has let me know that her and Legolas have indeed got close over the last year. She says they plan to wed next year. Legolas will naturally want his first born son to rule Mirkwood but the second son…his second son we can give Gondor," Boromir explains, sounding happy at his plan and the prospect.

"It is a good plan. If Legolas agrees on it," I say.

"He will. We're offering his second born son a Kingdom to rule," Boromir says, sure of this fact and I have to agree with him. Which man doesn't want his sons to do well?

"There is only one problem. The future rulers of Gondor will then all be Elves, the Kingdom will be ruled like an Elvish country though it is not," I warn him.

"Not necessarily. We make a law that says Legolas' son has to marry a human woman and their son will marry a human woman as well. That way as the line grows it will be human rulers though all will have a link to the Elves and their wisdom and powers," Boromir explained.

"Maybe...maybe this could be done," I say softly. Boromir kneels down besides me.

"I know it can," he says and kisses me on the lips. I smile.

"Then it shall be so."

The End


End file.
